Stabby’s Got the Sads

This may be old…but I LOVE it!

EggTreeNews Blog

-Boohooville, Arizona

Local demon Jodi Arias called out sick to court today. Just one day after getting convicted of the brutal first degree murder of Travis Alexander, Stabby Einstein came down with a sudden case of the human sads, and threatened to end her own worthless life. On TV! She’s currently on suicide watch in the psych ward, inducing eyerolls among irritated doctors, and likely snickering about delaying the aggravation phase of the trial until next Wednesday. 

So devastated was she by the verdict, she marched straight from the courthouse to a previously arranged, exclusive TV interview to sit on her pity-pot in front of some cameras and offend everyone for 45 minutes. With lipgloss! Because shame is for human sissies. In the interview, the demon blazed both its middle fingers at remorse, and let out a long stream of verbal diarrhea, blaming everyone and everything but itself for its…

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